I’ve been a daughter, niece, wife, second-wife, mother, mother-in-law, grandmother, caregiver, friend, mentor, nurse, teacher, and coach. I’ve led large volunteer organizations within school and church settings, and developed and run intensive out-patient and partial hospital mental health programs. I created and continue to run a private coaching practice that thrives.
But my journey has been anything but a cakewalk.
I’ve been afraid, hopeless, bullied, shamed, used, criticized, excluded, abused, and taken advantage of. I’ve experienced depression, suicidal thoughts, anxiety, and anorexia.
I’ve made mistakes, experienced profound regret, grief, shame, loneliness, body image concerns, ageism, emotional abuse, invalidation, and exclusion.
I found a way to own and grow from these negative experiences. Now, I can tolerate imperfection, doubt and uncertainty. I am not my emotions and I know I am just as WORTHY as anyone else.
I believe with all my heart that my purpose is to help others do the same. My coaching practice is built on this mission.
Let's back up to how I got here...
Some of my best days were as a classroom teacher and an emergency room/ psychiatric nurse, all of which required developing empathy, compassion, and understanding in a nonjudgmental approach to connecting with others.
Additionally, collaborating to create customized problem-solving tools became a passion. Our simple, powerful, step-by-step strategies reassured clients, students, and patients. I was amazed to see how simply implementing these tools helped defuse crises and transform relationships, giving people hope and skills for building the reality they desired.
So here I was, excelling in a challenging job I enjoyed immensely, working with a team of talented and loving people with whom I shared a common vision of the best possible mental health care. I was encouraged to experiment with new ideas, create programs and bring my core strengths to support a purpose that aligned perfectly with my personal values.
I was content with my life.
But, a few years later, the controlling variables of the health insurance industry and the politics of non-profit management began to create an atmosphere in which I was no longer thriving; instead I found myself compromising my values and experiencing toxic feelings. I wasn’t good enough. I wasn’t working hard enough. I felt less-than. Eventually, these feelings were joined by anger and resentment.
These emotions were so pervasive they started spilling over into my family life. I had less bandwidth to be fully engaged with those most important to me. Every day I felt I had almost nothing to look forward to.
I felt hopeless.
I forged ahead, desperately trying to meet my needs for community, achievement and worth through my work.
And then suddenly I realized I no longer had a personal life.
While I was dedicating so much of my life to work, I ended up missing out on my life worth living.
It took too many years of barking up all the wrong trees for me to realize that I was fighting a system over which I had no control. I needed to regain my confidence, sense of calm, and my connection to my wise mind and my authentic self.
I needed to transform myself, not the system.
This was an internal process that took time and guidance. I started working with a professional, non-judgmental and committed coach. Soon I learned to see and acknowledge the healthy self in others which allowed me to recognize my own healthy self buried within. I practiced tolerating the discomfort associated with risk taking (by the way, not an easy task for those of us who default to shame and unworthiness and are uncomfortable being noticed!). I began practicing being fully present with my own vision and dreams. And then faster than I could have expected, I shifted my mindset to optimism, confidence, and clarity of purpose.
I felt a renewed sense of POWER.
I was able to expand my gaze and see there were multiple options and choices in situations and experiences that once appeared to be all or nothing, right or wrong, good or bad. The array of new possibilities was breathtaking and invigorating. This realization fueled me with energy to take control of my decision making.
And make decisions I did. I committed to renting office space, registering my private practice business, and creating a website. I’m still amazed that I was able to take this huge step all by myself!
It was terrifying and anxiety-provoking to say the least, and yet at the same time I felt energized and motivated to succeed. And sometimes I wonder if all of that resentment and anger might have somehow actually ignited my drive and helped create forward movement.
I now have a thriving practice that makes me happy and exceeds my financial needs. But in the last 18 months or so, I’ve had a yearning to do more. So once again I am creating a new business, but this time I’m not doing it alone. I have a personal relationship with two coaches for support and guidance around my areas in need of growth and a huge family of other certified coaches who are committed as am I to supporting, and amplifying the individual successes of each of us.
Creating my life worth living is an everyday priority for me.
I have the life I want and I plan on amplifying it for years to come!
Helping others do the same is an essential part of how I maintain daily commitment to living with intent and to radically accepting that it’s my job to identify my purpose in life and to create a reality that allows me to experience meaning. Happiness and commitment are skills I have to practice to sustain the quality of life I have and want to maintain plus improve. There’s no rubber stamp for creating a life of contented fulfillment. Together we must customize care for each individual. It takes practice and you have to try on a plethora of experiences to identify what works for you and what doesn’t.
Every single human being has the ability to build a life filled with more purpose, meaning, joy, gratitude, happiness, and love. Let me show you how. Let me walk beside you while you practice new behaviors, learn to regulate emotional experiences and tolerate the unwanted realities of life with confident resilience.
Although the details in the lives of all the targeted clients may be different, the experience of frustration, exhaustion, and lonliness may be familiar across the board. Questions about meaning, purpose and true happiness are faithful companion within the space available when we allow ourselves to stop for even a moment.
The coaching process is brief, simple and fun. Since no one has endless attention and energy to give, I become your partner and during our meetings and communications I teach you how and help you take each small step along the way as you identify your strengths and values, re-evaluate your priorities, recognize your accomplishments, and identify and make necessary action steps toward bringing the changes you desire into your current reality.
