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Digital Resource
Real Tools for Right Now
Everything on borderline personality disorder I wish I had known as a parent and a professional... ALL IN ONE PLACE.
I hear it from clients all the time...
- “Nothing I do is enough. I’ve tried everything.”
- “I worry that other people think I’m a bad parent/partner/friend/family member.”
- “How have I raised/partnered with someone so inconsiderate?”
- “It’s so expensive and exhausting caring for my BPD loved one that there’s no time or money left for my own self-care!”
- “I find myself resenting friends, family, and even strangers who have it so much easier.”
- “I have a really hard time saying NO and sticking to it.”
- “I want to curl up in a ball and never wake up from this nightmare.”
Since you're here on this page, I'm guessing you are feeling some of this, too.
You want to understand why your person behaves the way they do—even though it’s harmful to themselves and others, reduce conflict, feel like you’re a player in your own story, and RECLAIM YOUR LIFE.
There’s just one small problem…
Something is keeping you stuck on the hamster wheel of doom.
So, what is the thing keeping YOU stuck?
Maybe it's...
- You’ve spent so much money (that you didn’t have) trying other things that didn’t even work.
- You’re so tired you don’t even know how you’ll find the time or energy to put into this resource.
- You’re so discouraged and lonely that it feels too scary to put yourself out there again.
- You feel like your situation is so dire there is no way anyone could understand it, let alone improve it.
Whatever it is, if you're like most of my clients, even though you WANT change... it can feel hopeless because nothing else has worked.
Your life is so busy and so full of anticipation—when is the next outburst or incident coming?!—and you’re flat out exhausted just trying to get through the day.
Or maybe you find yourself numbing out and avoiding not only the bad stuff, but also the good stuff… you’ve gotten this far, you can hold on a little longer, right?
Before you know it, another day, week, or month has gone by and nothing has improved in your relationship with your BPD loved one. Everything seems to be falling apart.
This might be when you start feeling defeated and ashamed—like you’ve let yourself and your family down, like you don’t care enough, and maybe… maybe it really is hopeless.
I'm here to tell you that isn't true.
It’s not that you don’t care enough, or that changing the dynamic of your relationship with your loved one is impossible.
It’s just the FEAR of taking a leap and trying just ONE more thing and trusting that it really will work this time.
And I get it. I've been there, and so have hundreds of my clients. But guess what? You don't have to stay invisible, living in fear and putting off having a healthy relationship.
In fact… what if you could kick that fear to the curb and move forward with the confidence that you can have a HEALTHY and ENJOYABLE relationship with your BPD person?
Could you imagine how amazing it would feel to...
- Stop wasting time and money on specialists and books that don’t help at all
- Consistently set and stick to your limits, all the while reducing conflict
- See your loved one begin to acknowledge and respect boundaries
- Have time and money to take care of yourself and nurture your own needs
- Get your life back, including drastically reducing the conflict in your other relationships
- Feel HOPEFUL again
sound impossible?
It isn't! But here's what most people in your situation don't know...
It’s not just about having more information. It isn’t even about having the right tools!
Because if you’re being really honest, how many books have you read and how many so-called professionals have you already worked with that didn’t change your situation?
So if it’s not about information, tools, or another specialist, how DO you change things once and for all?
It starts with realizing that you can't do this alone, you need a support team and a community.
Think about it...
You’ve read a hundred books, Googled your person’s symptoms and behaviors thousands of times, gone through countless diagnostic tests, met with counselors, been seen by psychiatrists and therapists, and the list goes on.
But you’re still STUCK.
If you could have ALL THE INFO you need IN ONE PLACE, learn how to CUSTOMIZE the information and tools to YOUR UNIQUE SITUATION—with practice assignments, professional guidance, and feedback and support from a community of other peers going through the same stuff… then you begin to see REAL RESULTS!
And that's exactly why I created Real Tools for Right Now—and why it's different from anything you've already tried. It's everything I've experienced, learned, studied and taught over 30+ years... all condensed into ONE resource.
Before you read one more thing or try one more tactic that doesn’t work… you need to gain the KNOWLEDGE of what’s really going on with your BPD or highly emotionally sensitive person, learn and practice evidence-based SKILLS that work, and connect with a COMMUNITY of people who are sharing a similar challenge.
And that’s exactly what we’re going to do together in Real Tools for Right Now.
Real Tools for Right Now
A comprehensive online resource to help you understand the BPD diagnosis and behaviors more clearly, learn evidence-based skills, and reclaim your sense of safety and confidence, while building and improving connection with your BPD or emotionally sensitive person.
Real Tools for Right Now isn’t your average digital resource. With me as your guide, you’ll learn the powerful tools and strategies that I’ve curated over 30 years of professional and life experience to help you navigate the tumultuous rapids of your relationship and your life.
This digital resource is everything I wish I had known back when I was feeling overwhelmed, frustrated, angry, sad and lost, spending hundreds of dollars on specialists and reading every book on BPD... only to end up more confused and frustrated.
It all starts with a tiny shift. You don’t have to be perfect, just skillful more often than not. I’m going to show you how to create connection with your BPD loved one so you can see real and consistent change in your relationship with them and even your partner, your other family members, and your friends—all WITHOUT sacrificing your own sanity.
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here's what's inside
Real Tools for Right Now
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
PART 4
PART 5
PART 6
Part 1
PART ONE
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) & High Sensitivity
What do we know about BPD and high emotional sensitivity? You’ll learn the science behind these disorders and why your person’s brain is different from others’. You’ll begin to understand the patterns that emerge and how to anticipate common behaviors so you can ready your skills to cope when the time comes (because it will).
WHAT’S INCLUDED
Mindfulness
Biologically, What Do We Know?
Bio-social Theory of BPD
Dysregulation
Behavior Patterns and Dialectical Dilemmas
Part 2
PART TWO
What about me?
(Friends and Family)
You have needs in this relationship, too. In this module, you’re going to identify what you need in order to stay in this relationship for the long haul, without sacrificing yourself. You will learn the art of Relationship Mindfulness and how to balance the needs of your BPD or highly emotionally sensitive person with your own needs as a parent, partner, friend or caregiver.
WHAT’S INCLUDED
My Burden is Real and Theirs is, Too
My Needs and Theirs
Relationship Mindfulness
Part 3
PART THREE
Emotions 101
You and your BPD person experience intense emotions when interacting with each other. In this module, you will learn why we have these intense emotions from a biological standpoint, why they can be so hard for our people to regulate, what it means to be inside or outside your Window of Tolerance, and how to effectively observe and describe your emotions and those of your person—without judgement.
WHAT’S INCLUDED
The Window of Tolerance
Functions and Core Beliefs Associated with Emotions
The Model of Emotions
Observing and Describing My Emotions and Theirs
PART 4
PART FOUR
Learning to speak BPD
It can feel like you’re often speaking a completely different language from your person. In this module, you’ll learn why communication becomes so difficult (especially during conflict and crisis) and several skills that will help you experience profound change in your relationships.
WHAT’S INCLUDED
Accurate Interpretation (“When I Say ___, You Hear ___”)
Invalidation
Validation
Radical Acceptance
PART 5
PART FIVE
Identifying and Maintaining Limits
Limits are shields that keep us safe from toxic and damaging behavior of others. They are messages of what conduct we will or will not tolerate. Learn how to say NO and stick to your limits. Explore how harnessing the power of body language, tone, and facial expressions will increases the power of your message. Get my one-sentence formula for communicating your limits in way that gets heard.
WHAT’S INCLUDED
Identifying Limits
Communicating Limits
Maintaining Limits
Limit Setting Blockers (Common Things That Get in the Way)
PART 6
PART SIX
Navigating the Crisis Rapids
Our loved one’s impulsivity can put us and/or them in dangerous situations that are often scary, humiliating, and sometimes devastating for everyone involved. Learn how to plan ahead to reduce your own reactivity and avoid making an already miserable situation worse. Use the principles of behavior change to make it less likely that a similar event will occur.
WHAT’S INCLUDED
What is a Crisis?
Suicidal Thoughts, Gestures, and Attempts
Self-harm
Rage and Violence
Finding Treatment
What Happens Now?
Bonuses!
bonus #1
60-min coaching session
$175
I know that you're going to be learning a lot in RTFRN and you'll likely have some questions for me. I'm here to help you make sense of what you're learning and point you in the direction of any resources that might help you get the most out of RTFRN. Book an hour with me anytime within your first 60 days of signing up and we'll get things sorted so you can move forward!
bonus #2
Private Facebook Group
PRICELESS
Join a community of your peers who can relate to what you're experiencing first-hand. Lean on your group for non-judgmental support and be inspired by their accomplishments and growth!
bonus #3
skills e-workbook
$97 value
A comprehensive digital guide with information, worksheets, practical exercises, and useful tools to take your skills mastery to the next level in your own life and current situation.
so tell me...
Are you ready to finally reclaim your confidence and sense of safety?
I truly believe that BPD is not a life sentence for misery, and that you can accomplish a HAPPY and HEALTHY relationship with the right combination of what I like to call Knowledge + Skills + Community.
Yet so many parents are too tired and beaten down that they never think to ask for help… from the right people, who understand exactly what they’re going through and know what actually works, and who offer non-judgmental support and community for you to lean on.
And that’s why so many families are trudging through, just trying to stay afloat, thinking they are just “unlucky” and this is the hand they were dealt.
Your feelings of stress, overwhelm, anger, fear, and helplessness are valid. AND, they are symptoms of trying to do this all alone.
How do I know Real Tools for Right Now will work for you?
Because I've been exactly where you are right now.
Hi! I’m your teacher and coach, Lisa Bond. I help individuals with borderline personality disorder (BPD) or who are highly sensitive, and parents or loved ones of these individuals, with evidence-based tools—like dialectical behavior therapy (DBT)—to improve their relationships and their lives.
If you’re wondering how I got qualified to help you and your family deal with these incredibly difficult topics and experiences, well…
It all started because my own daughter struggled with BPD from a young age. I tried literally everything and nothing worked. I made allllllll the mistakes.
My training and experience as a registered nurse, and the access that gave me to certified physicians, didn’t offer me any nuggets of wisdom.
I was exhausted, angry, ashamed, fearful, sad, and helpless.
UNTIL… I found DBT. When I started learning and practicing dialectical behavior therapy, everything changed. Our entire family dynamic shifted. My daughter is now in her late 30s and lives a happy and independent life.
After years of f*cking up in every way you can think of, I’ve not only found the tools and support systems to regain freedom and balance in my life, I’ve helped hundreds of my clients do it, too.
I know firsthand that with the right tools and support system, you can reduce conflict and find joy and balance again. I'm honored to share my method with you!
Are you ready to reclaim your life?
Select a payment option
You don’t need a degree in psychology to learn these tools and be able to communicate with your kids, your partner or your friend with BPD. Most people with support can do it!
Pay in full
regular price: $1,200 $ 397 one-time payment
- 6x Comprehensive Modules
- Private Facebook Group
- Downloadable Workbook
- Peer Support
- 60-minute 1:1 Coaching Session
- Immediate Lifetime Access
Pay in Full
You will get immediate access to RTFRN upon payment completion!
SALE!
split pay
regular price: $1,200 $ 140 3 monthly payments
- 6x Comprehensive Modules
- Private Facebook Group
- Downloadable Workbook
- Peer Support
- 60-minute 1:1 Coaching Session
- Immediate Lifetime Access
SPLIT PAY
You will get immediate access to RTFRN upon initial installment payment!
SALE!
Still deciding?
FAQs
Yes! If you put in the work and practice the skills I teach you, I promise you will see results. And if you do all of that and still don’t see any change, I’ll be happy to give you your money back. That’s how sure I am that this resource will change your life!
Yes! It is ASTONISHING what doing our own work can change for our loved ones. Not only does it allow us to downregulate our own emotions when things get heated, it also models for them what it looks like. It takes practice, but over time, it is definitely possible to make those situations significantly less frequent.
One 60-minute one-on-one coaching is included in the price of RTFRN. If you find that you need more support, I can recommend next steps for you, whether that’s coaching with me or another option that works better for you.
That’s okay. Many folks go too long without a proper diagnosis. You know your loved one and you can take this assessment to see if they exhibit behaviors that are likely indicative of borderline personality disorder. Regardless, if your loved one is highly emotionally sensitive or reactive, RTFRN will help you to better communicate, downregulate intense emotions, and repair your relationship.
I realize that life is costly enough with a neurodivergent loved one, and now the pandemic has had lingering consequences for us all. I’ve deeply discounted the RTFRN price (a value of $2997!) and I’ve created two payment options to help you spread out your investment and give you more time to pay. I can tell you that this resource will save you hundreds if not THOUSANDS of dollars in the long run.