Setting & Maintaining Boundaries is a Challenge
While all of the questions are red flags when answered “yes,” not all of them indicate a need for intervention. However, because you answered “yes” to 5 or more, it’s evident that setting and/or maintaining personal limits is a challenge for you.
And you are not alone.
So many families and individuals I work with struggle to not only set and maintain their own personal limits, but to honor the boundaries of others.
And, let’s be honest… setting boundaries is NOT EASY.
Limit setting and boundary work can be difficult for some of us. We might not be used to standing up for ourselves or afraid to do so. We might be afraid of disappointing someone or of offending them.
Although we may have infinite love, endless passions, and the desire to help as many people as possible, our time in the world is finite. We cannot allow just anyone and anything into our lives. And we cannot become a bottomless bucket for other people’s trauma and emotions. If we do so, we’ll quickly become depleted and resentful.
Setting boundaries that help us manage our focus and energy are an integral way to regain our power and create more agency in our lives. Far from being selfish, they create opportunities to strengthen relationships and for others (and ourselves) to love us better.
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Why I created this quiz
Most currently as a coach, and previously as a psychiatric nurse, teacher, and mother, I have seen so many of you struggling to cope with friends, partners, and family members who have a diagnosis or BPD or who share some of the traits. One of the comments I frequently hear is, “I wish I knew what I know now and that there had been someone to help me when my child was younger” and, “I knew something wasn’t right but nobody took me seriously and often implied that my child’s behavior was caused by poor parenting.”
My mission is two-fold. First, to reduce stigma by providing accurate and up-to-date information to families and loved ones about BPD and its associated personality traits. And second, and equally important, to give you tools within a community format that can be used to facilitate decision making, communication, limit setting, self-care, and access to quality treatment.
If you are new to the BPD world or if you have been around awhile and find yourself second guessing yourself, I hope you will find the information here helpful and encouraging. Regardless of where you may be in this journey please remember that most people with BPD recover and the emotional investment of the family along with the hard work of the individual has a significant effect on a positive outcome.